End of the Money Pit

Last day of lifeguarding (hopefully forever) was today. Should have been yesterday, but a girl got sick so I had the great pleasure of cleaning down the pool in a downpour. Also, while I was hung over from the solid batch of beer pong played last night at the Noonan household - shoutout to the five week old baby (nickname: Party Birth Control) who watched me dominate: you'll learn kid.

The Secret book of crap has officially been downgraded to lower than Tyler Perry on my list right now. It says that when you're going out to get the mail, think that there won't be a bill there and the Universe will give you a check. Yes, that makes sense in a retarded kind of way. So I go to my email account, thinking there will not be a bill there, and I will get money sent to me by some Nigerian prince lord or I will have a job offer there. Or not. How about getting three rejections? How's that Secretioners?

I read another book at work, some book that Obama had read on his vacation so I figured it'd be ok. The book was called Plainsong, which is top five worst title of all time, and left me thinking two things. Number 1: Since when do people not use quotation marks in dialogues in books? This is the second book (I had to read a book for school) that was just like this -

She says, I'm sorry. He says, It's okay.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE QUOTATION MARKS? Common English people. (Great usage of centering up there. This blog is gonna take off.)

Number 2: If someone can publish a book that is literally about nothing and win an award for it, my book will be out February 28, 2010. It will be called Living and it will be about living. What a title, what a book.

Possibly going to NY this weekend to see the peeps, and it might put a damper on the bank account (could lead to another person added to the debt list), but I think the trip will be worth it in the end. Unless of course Pope finds me.

And thank you Lights Out Steroids, for doing whatever you did to Tila Tequila. While she may be Vas's favorite, everyone else hates her.

Fuck you Tyler Perry and Fuck you The Secret.